...I've been trained to make beats that would make a billy goat puke.


Holy Crap.

So I'm working, stacking papers, and I need to staple about 80 sheets together. What a perfect time to test out our new 100 PAGE STAPLER!
I get everything ready, and I grab hold of the brand spanking new stapler. CRUNCH. Wait, no staple. A new (unfolded) staple comes out of the stapler. Hmmm. Must be a fluke. I'll punch another one through. BAM. Now there's just a new staple sitting on top of the paper, didn't even break through the binding strip.
This is when the bad ideas start to happen. I start pondering:
"This thing is just shooting out staples. It's not punching them through anything."
"I bet if I stuck one sheet of paper in there it wouldn't even puncture it."
"To hell with paper! I bet I could stick my finger in there and be totally safe."
"Shoot. If I don't stick my finger in I'm a pussy."
"...I better staple my finger."
So in a moment of utmost clairvoyance, I place my left index finger into the stapler and start to slowly push down on the handle. Nothing. I go all the way down and feel a slight pinch.
"At least it's trying..."
I pull the handle back up and look at my finger. I see a staple - a 100 page staple - totally penetrating my finger.
HOLY CRAP. I don't believe what I'm seeing. There is a staple, roughly half an inch, embedded in my pink flesh. Hey the stapler works!
I pull out the staple, which hurts a lot more than putting it in, and my finger starts oozing blood. I run to the bathroom and put some neosporin on a band-aid and wash my finger off. Once bandaged, I go back out and test the stapler again.

Apparently this stapler just works on people?


  1. ffffffffff hahaha you idiot. <3

  2. ran outta super glue huh?

  3. Anonymous12.5.09

    Don´t feel bad, something real similar happened to me. But it was my hand not my finger... I thought the stapler was empty and I wanted to scare somebody. I guess it was more scary to see me pull a staple out of my hand though.

    -Other Will