Dissapointing Translations.

So I'm sitting there, thinking about Charmin Ultrasoft bathroom tissue, when I get a revelation.
We've all heard about Rico Suave, the young latino gentleman who makes bold claims about being so good with the ladies. For example, he declares, "Mi apariencia es dura, vivo en la locura," or "My appearance is hard, I live in the madness." Let's look a little deeper into this Rico Suave character.
At first when you hear something like "Rico Suave," you think "DAMN this kid is pretty good at getting ladies to make out with him!" However, when we translate his name, we get the following:
Richard Soft.
That's not exactly the sexiest name on Earth.
This isn't the end of the road though, there's much more.
To avoid a bad translation, we have also to look at Spanish grammar. In English, an adjective commonly appears before a noun, but this process is reversed in Spanish. Assuming "Suave" isn't Rico's last name, but an adjective describing Rico, we arrive at a new translation:
Soft Richard.
I've saved the best part for last. The Spanish name "Rico" is actually a nickname for "Ricardo." So if we extrapolate that information and apply it to our English we get this ladykiller:
Soft Dick.
I'll let you think about this.