...I've been trained to make beats that would make a billy goat puke.



So I make a living driving blueprints around. This means I am constantly surrounded by rednecks who REALLY think that their job is important. Don't get me wrong, their job is immensely important. Everyone knows we need another Walmart in town.
Where the hilarity comes in is the point where these guys are in charge of this important job. Take today for example. I just got half an hour overtime because of two customers who ABSOLUTELY needed their plans before the end of the day. Totally understandable request, considering sometimes these guys are on really strict deadlines, but here are the two things that happened:
  • The last delivery I made was about 25 miles outside of town. These people live in an enormous house and I guess because of that, they feel like they need to be really pushy. So I get their plans to their huge tacky lame house, and no one is even home. Enjoy your plans that couldn't wait until tomorrow while you're out and about probably doing something totally non productive with your rich money friends!
  • This one, while totally ridiculous, was actually kind of sweet. Earlier, a customer TOTALLY needed plans in a hard way. So I get there, and I go inside. No secretary. No prob, I go "WASSUP YOUR PLANS R HERE." No response. Time to investigate. I walk back into the offices, and no one is around. I go into one office and there's this huge awesome fat dude asleep with a cigarette in his mouth. WOW Y'ALL ARE REALLY INTENSELY IN NEED OF THESE PLANS. He wakes up and tells me to just throw the plans on the table in the other room. Nice move.

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